On other things, much of the time since the last post was spent on all sorts of stuff, but frankly not enough time on writing. I feel there's a huge boulder blocking my brain to do writerly things (i.e. write stories all day), but when I come to start doing it, I always find myself fighting off distraction and not succeeding.
For example: much of my time is spent cleaning. Cleaning my room, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the new extension, etc. I have also taken to organizing everything I own. (My room had been turned upside down in the last few months, you see; renovations around the house had scattered my belongings all around the house. I'm only just 80% done with retrieving everything.) I would start opening a Word document, and then I would notice that I don't have any place I could tack my notes to. This would then trigger a trip to the supplies store to buy a corkboard, then painting it myself so that it matches the walls, then waiting for my dad to do the drilling for me (he wouldn't let me touch the drill), and finally to pin my notes to the board before deciding to try to write again. But not before I can sharpen each and every pencil with my new mounted sharpener...
Apart from being a clean freak, I've busied myself with taking courses on videography, as a way to prepare myself for a life away from corporate as I know it. The classes so far have been well above my expectations, but to be honest, I still need to psych myself to go out there and immerse myself in that world. I also need to toughen up when it comes to buying the gear already, and it's no joke spending a huge chunk of your life savings on it, not knowing if the risk will be worth it. What makes this a more difficult decision for me is that when I start spending the money already on camera and software gear, it's as good as committing to a new life.
Anyway, I'll just have to stop worrying. Videography is just part of my storytelling journey -- first in print, then audio, and in the near future, film. I guess it's inevitable! Haha!
Ah! I also got my student driver's licence just this week. I promised my Dad that I'll take up driving lessons once I return to Manila, and that's just me making good on my promise. We're still debating on which driving school I'm going to for now.
On the writing front, like I said, not so good. My past submissions have been rejected, and I'm struggling on how to salvage those rejected stories. I still think there's good meat on them, but not good enough for editors to chew on. There's also the issue of my clunky phrasing, which I thought I got rid of. Now it's paralyzing me when I write; as if I've lost my voice. The strange thing is, this happens only when I write in English. When I write "privately" in Filipino (and when I say privately, it just means I had not intention of getting them published), the words flow out of me. But I guess it's also because the what I write in Filipino are journal entries, hence more free-flowing.
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I love that I get to see my family everyday. This is what I am most thankful for. And for that, I am happy.
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